Figments of Reality

Gravity...

2008-07-14T05:07:00.000-07:00

This is a Blog that I had written like almost an year ago for a Short Story competition. Reproducing it here on request from some friends.
Gravity is working against me and gravity wants to bring me down. It has been trying to do this to me ever since those wings grew out of their bud. Here is the story of a heart’s flight to the skies, the heart of mine 13 years ago.
Circa 1995: A printed sheet of paper fluttered in his hand, as he stared into the blue sky and wind and gravity attempting to snatch it from his hand. It was his appointment order. It was no ordinary letter; it was his ticket to freedom. Yet it was the one paper that is going to change his entire life. A job which was 1000 miles away. His mind had decided already, it was already fluttering and flapping inside him. Yet an unknown force was pulling him down, making him sad and at times his eyes welled at the corners. He can’t cry, he should not cry. He was a Man now and it made him angry. The incongruity of his anger was he had wanted to leave for long, but yet he doesn’t want to leave.
A silent fist fight between his emotions and passion ensued ever since the joy of “I did it” subdued. Ever since he turned 15 his ambitions outgrew his emotions. He talked about big achievements and success and rattled brand names one day he will own. His first aim to buy a full set of Gillette personal toilet kit, the brand new twin blade razor, cream, gel and works!! Car, House, Rolex Watch, he wanted to travel, he wanted to own a bar.. The list was long but it was there. This is it. The passport for all those dreams. “Mom, I need money for the tickets”, he spoke after almost what seemed eternity, but couple of hours. His mom looked at him with queer eyes. “Are you Deaf? I kept the money on your table long time ago!. Now hurry up before the booking counter closes. You have to make a list of things to carry….”.. again his eyes stared at infinity as mom’s instructions faded into the background. He had his own things to do.
In another five minutes the bus will stop. That made his heart heavier. His science told him he would be at 5G now. He gulped as the bus pulled over. A smile greeted him from the bus station. He stepped out and sat in the empty seat. “So, why are you a grumpy bear today” she said in a voice which made candle wax out of his heart. “Let’s go to the park” he stood up and she followed.
She was happy and jumping in joy when she read that paper. “You got a fine job! Time to be happy, u silly boy”, she pinched him. He looked at her with total amazement, bit his lip and “shhhhhhh” a finger closed his lips. “Men don’t cry” she whispered. “I can get another job here, near to you” he forced those words through that finger. “I can’t do this”, his eyes showed the signs of his pain. “You know you have to go right? You need this freedom. You need to discover yourself. You are cutout for Bigger things. You need to fly”, hands gesturing a soaring eagle she was enchanting him and trying to get him smile.
They had arranged a farewell party for him. It was a decent party. His eyes were fixated at the entrance. “Don’t worry dude, she will be here. For everything under the sun she won’t miss this” said his best buddy and gave him a glass. And then he saw a silhouette. His heart was racing and pounding. The last time he felt this way was when he told her his love. It took 5 minutes then, for her to smile and shy away and return his love.
Seemed it took like eternity for her to walk upto the entrance. She still had that smile. He could swear it was she who got that job and not him. “Congratulations! And here is something from the one in your heart”, she placed a box in his hands. There was a small card on top of it. When he flipped open the card “Heart knows what heart wants” it said. That was it. His eyes misted, blurred. He lost a fight. His will power lost to his emotions. Tears flowed down his cheeks and “Shhhhhhhhhhhhh” he felt that tender finger on his lips and he was sobbing like a baby on her shoulders.
Hiding under the shade of the overgrown Hibiscus plant, he held her hand firmly. “So you are back again in 3 months right? Hmmm I will be still here with no job though” she giggled. “Don’t forget to get my pictures ok? I will kill you if you didn’t. Oh one more thing. Promise me you will NOT open this present till your train leaves, ok?” He nodded. “Ok I have to go and you have to go now. You have your train early morning and you need to be with your mom and dad now”. For the first time in last 1 hour he spoke “I want to miss that train”. A sharp smack on his wrist “NO you don’t” said a stern voice. “You know how much I love you right, I will miss you” he said in words fighting back tears. “Hey! What happened to my strong boyfriend. Bring him back. You will be back silly” she smiled. “I promise I will call you” he said as he climbed into the car, his friend at the wheel. “All the best and I know you wont forget me, Love you my heart”, she kissed his hands and as the car moved she let go his hands. He swore he saw tears in her eyes. He turned back, she was running into the house.
The train was about to leave. His mom and dad were giving him instructions and advices. “..call this gentleman when you are there, he will help you”, “Ok dad, I will.” The whole train now knew where he is going and why!! The train started moving, his heart fluttered, he was waving back at mom and dad. Mom sure was crying, but she wont show. As the train cleared the station he felt the breeze on his face. It picked up speed steadily. Cleared the city limits. A smile broke on his lips… Blast of wind on his face as he yelled out his joy. The sound of the oncoming train muffled his triumphant voice. He looked up, an eagle up in the sky. He smiled and stretched one hand out. It was like flying, like an eagle soaring.
He remembered suddenly, eased out the blue wrap box from his bag. Smiling at the small card on top, he slowly unwrapped it and opened the box. His felt like finally gravity pulling his wide open wings. He felt heavy, dropping like a iron body from the sky. His knees went weak and he sat on the seat with a thud. He wanted to stop the train, he wanted to go back. He wanted to hold that girl and tell her, “I don’t want to go”. His ambitions fighting hard with his emotions. His wings flapping hard against the pull. Tears rolled down his cheek as he read the note inside, “You can strike off the first item off your list – Your Love”. He was staring at the box, it had the latest Gillette works, everything, down to the imported perfume, All Gillette.
As the sound of the wheels on the tracks muffled his silent cry, Gravity was working against him, it wants to bring his soaring wings down.

Withered leaves, weathered heart

2008-03-25T21:02:00.000-07:00

Crucified by emotions
By the jury of Love
Stood this heart
bearing pain on the cross.

Then shined across the horizon
A shimmering light of hope
Out emerged thee angel

The warmth in eyes
a smile on thy lips
Were they of godly powers
For pain did vanish, so did dolor

How can I thank thee
Should I thank for thy grace
Should I thank for thy kindness
Should I thank for the rekindled hope.

Silently here I stand
misty eyes, clasped hands
whispering softly
"Thanks for coming into my life.."

Who's to be blamed - A poem by Venkat

2008-03-25T20:59:00.000-07:00

Those grey clouds?
that threaten to drown my spirits

Those lazy birds?
that havent chirped since morning

Those flowers?
that refused to blossom today

Or is it the sunshine
who didnt tear off those clouds
wake up those birds
blossom those flowers
and light up my day

Or is it she is shy?
behind a veil like a new bride
Or is she playing hide n seek
smiling just for a moment
as she hides in the skies

Oh wait! Think this hearts tears
caused a tremble
Those clouds.... they wept,
to soothe my pain,
to beg forgiveness

Rays of hope shimmering through
as those villains leave...
Head hung on their shoulders
fading from my sight

Aah! sunshine came back
on her chariot of smile
with her chalice of happiness
Made those dew drops shine on the blades of my eyes...
Who's to be blamed....

.:Venkat:.

Are we so predictable?

2008-03-12T06:09:00.000-07:00

Time and again I have always had proof to the fact that people are unpredictable, the women folks in particular. Expectantly it was a shock to me when a friend of mine proved its not so and people are indeed predictable. He was able to predict exactly how a person would react in a given situation, down the words and actions!

Worst thing was he could predict how I would have reacted in return! Like anyone, I was tempted to doubt he knew before hand of both sides. But I know thats not possible and that made me squirm uneasily. He told me that 80% of people react the exact same way for a set of given situations!

The explanation he gave was really convincing. He said, If any of us happened to touch a hot plate unknowingly, we will immediately pull back our hand. If its a finger, we will wet it in our mouth, else run it in water. Its a natural reaction. Only a few of us will put some ice on it or apply some medicine on the burn as the FIRST action. Similarly any action related to "likes-dislikes", expectations, romance etc will evoke almost same responses across the genus.

The question thats been going through my brain is: Are we so predictable? Are we all programmed to react in the exact manner for similar situations?

What do you think?

As we Teeter... Poem by Venkat

2008-02-29T17:13:00.000-08:00

The purists among the Poets will be mortified at this poem, so my plea for pardon from them upfront...

I wrote this poem sometime ago, but it never saw the light of the day. Well here it is..

As we Teeter and Totter
Fluttering wings, flying where sun shines bright
Whales and Fishes, where water holds warmth
Where destiny takes, Yet,
they know where they go..

An orphaned boat as tides unleash fury
Paddles broken
a lonely heart....

As it teeters...
no line nor shore
no destiny nor sight...

Just
As we teeter and totter....

A Poem by Venkat (C) Copyright 2008: All rights reserved by Venkat

Duh!

2006-11-14T10:37:00.000-08:00

One of the mistakes which all parent commit is to teach non-educational things to their kids, particularly the slangs n stuff. Its like a boomerang and comes back n hits u very soon!! So here is my tale... The Tale of "Duh!"

For reasons only known to nobody, I thought I will teach the 2-half year old in my house on the "nuances" of Duh! (Actually I myself was kinda intrigued by this word after I first heard it and have been attempting to use this at every potential place!!) Anyway with all my teaching skills honed up, I told her that when mommy asks here "Baby, did u finish your pudding?" you should say "Duh!" and I explained to her that she infact has finished the pudding which mommy didnt see.... So far so good....

An hour passed and she was next to me cuddled in the couch watching TV and suddenly got up and went to her mommy in kitchen... In her own phonetics, it seems she asked mommy to ask her if she finished dinner. Mommy was curious.. but to keep the lil one's enthusiasm, she asked. Well I saw mommy calling me with hands on her hip and a growling look at me "You taught her that" and the lil one was laughing hysterically. Well apparently she said "Duh!" with such american perfection. And she was saying that everytime mommy turned towards her and laughing hysterically....

Well my dinner and next day's breakfast was at threat so without wating time, I packaged the 3-footer in my arms and shifted her to the living room. We were laughing in whispers, saying "Duh!" to each other and both of us almost in tummy pain!!. DAYEM!! We got find out... Man! Women have sharp ears dont they?

Well time to be a stern dad, I told the lil girl "You shouldnt say Duh, often but only when u actually mean it (or something like that).." she said, "Duh!"... This fun-time took almost an hour to subside with mommy ending up red-faced and my dinner hanging in a single weak thread!! So i turned the attention to Mickey Mouse and it was forgotten then....Next day evening, I thought well she has forgotten the word. As usual I asked her when I reached home, "So did my lil baby girl go to play-school today?"

She said..... "Duh!"

Now it was my wife's turn to peal into laughter and with a sheepish grin I joined too...

Amazing fact is how sharp these young minds are and how quick they can grasp the usage, purpose and phonetics of a word. Especially when its funny. And these days my daughter has picked up a third language from school, apart from English and the one we speak at home. And its not just words but ACTUAL sentences with grammar and she responds to questions in that language!!! I think we are far outsmarted by these youngsters and as I always say, she's gonna tell me one day, "Dad, really, what did they teach u at school? Did u go to school regularly?"

Now, Here is a fair warning to all of those who could meet my 2yr old daughter, Whatever u ask, please dont ask any "obvious" questions otherwise be ready to hear the "Duh!"

Placid Hearts.... A Poem from Venkat

2006-11-14T10:17:00.000-08:00

Hmmmm its been like a long time since I wrote a poem... I just thought of something and here are few words that escaped my "Editor's Scissors"!! Hope y'all like it... Please dont forget to leave your comments...

Placid Hearts

Placid the surface seems
with smiles and rhymes galore
Among the heart's reams
lay those pages wore

Pain, as some cite
yet they cant warrant why
Dolor, it be might
yet those smiles, they defy

Fear not, worry not
what the heart hath keep
For life sustains, fails not
nay, melancholy never run deep

.:Venkat:.

A Quote from "George Costanza"

2006-11-14T10:10:00.000-08:00

There are some quotes that make you think... Some make you wonder... Some make you want it!! This one is from the TV series "Sienfeld" and spoken by the (in)famous George Costanza played by Jason Alexander. Its a line that amused me and equally intrigue me.

"The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes of a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death. What's that, a bonus?!? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you go live in an old age home. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You drink alcolol, you party and you get ready for High School. You go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities. You become a little baby, you go back, you spend your last 9 months floating with luxuries like central heating, spa, room service on tap. Then you finish off as an orgasm!! Amen!"

Wouldnt life be so different if the end of you life is going to be actually an orgasm!! WOW!!! Then you will actually start living it to its fullest extent?

Thats the deal isnt it. Its always unfair. Seriously I dont believe in "sin" but I do believe in "Good deeds". So should we live life with the fear of sinning or its repurcussions or just look at the green fields of our good deeds and take pride in them? In my opinion the concept of Sin itself is hypocrisy. Anyway, let me not stray out of this blog...
Maybe we should concentrate on how we make the lives of ours and the people around us as enjoyable and happier till the day the eyes are closed and the coffin is shut on our mortal self...

Hmmmmm Im getting too much philosophical! Blame it on George

And then they walkaway....

2006-06-16T04:17:00.000-07:00

They grab ur finger with their nimble hands...
Pull that and suckle on to it...
They giggle in your lap..
Sit-up and crawl, lookin back at you each time..
Stand-up and take their first step...

And then they walkaway from your life...

A life you created for them forgetting everything around you....
And there you stand wondering should you reach out and stop or just watch with pride....
Nevertheless a drop of tear crawls down the cheek...

A poem by Venkat

Monday was the first day at Playschool for my daughter. Backpack with spare clothes and biscuits and a name tag. New dress for the first day. And in a brand new car..... Her mom n me were preparing ourselves for her crying like any kid :: "No school please, Take me home with you.."
We walk upto the gate of the Playschool.. The lady who handles these kids standing there with a smile and some candy (to bribe some easy-to-get kids) and some toy-pedal-cars (for those tougher ones). She looks at us and then greets my 2 year old.
Suddenly the nimble hands holding our finger wasnt there and the 24 months old bundle of joy vanished through the gate and into the classroom!!! She didnt even turn back to say Bye!!
Here is the twist:: She was the only one who went into so eagerly because the candy box was getting empty faster and some kids refused to climb down from their parents' safe hands despite the best-in-the-house candy bar!! Ofcourse a large number of them were in tears and tantrums...
There we were standing, first glowing with pride under the jealous glares of those parents. Then like someone knocked in our heads and we realised the most treasured treasure of our lives has just vanished behind that door to find a new world for herself..
"Well, atleast we wont cry when she gets married", I told my wife, "Atleast, she is much practical and not a sentimental fool like us..."
That brings me back to the topic: We build a secure world. Shower them with love and affection and care. Mixing baby foods, washing feeding bottles. Changing diapers. Practically we turn our world upside down. But then the eventuality dawns on us as our kids become an individual...
Giving us pride and also wishing secretly they remained that little bundle of joy giggling and crawling...
I could hear my wife muttering "..Midnight feeds and diaper changes is better than this..."
And I wink at her with a grin.... Reading my mind, she gives me the look that says "Yeah right"...

The Circle of Life....

2006-06-16T01:44:00.000-07:00

Topic of an argument with a colleague of mine: Which one fullfills your life, taking care of your parents on their twilight of lives or being a parent and bringing up a child.
The basis of this discussion started with two movie stars who are equally successfull where one is unmarried and is taking care of her parents and the other who adopted a girl child and bringing her up as a Single mom. I must add both have had their string of failed relationships and love lifes.
In my opinion, its the being a parent and bringing up a child and making that child a good person with all values and virtues that you and your parents have stood by, which is the most difficult, rewarding, emotionally fullfilling and yes finally, completes your responsibility in this Circle of Life...
You can take care of your parents by providing the best of the medical care, personal care, money, so on and so forth. A little time from you, they will also be happy till the sun sets on their time. Despite that I believe, you will ALWAYS be the one who _receives_ love from them in abundance. For you are their living footprint...
Waking up in the middle of the night for a nappy change, late night feeds. Running behind with a bowl of porridge or a change of clothes. Carrying them on your shoulder when they are sleepy or staying awake when they are sick. Telling them stories and reading books. Choosing the best dress with a price tag that might buy you your whole wardrobe. In short giving them the best than what you had as a child.
Watching that little bunch of joy first rollover, then crawl, then situp, then hold your hand and stand and then walk away....yes walk away from you. Only to become an adult often turning back to see you are still there. Holding that bicycle and promising you wont let go, but letting it go to see them cycle on their own....
Well you have just paid back your dues that you have been accumulating since you were born. If you are a mother, I feel, you have more than repaid what you owed....
I believe that untill a person becomes a parent he/she has not completed that Circle of Life and in net is overdue in their payments to the nature.....